Women’s Health Blog

The moment you find out your pregnant you want to tell everyone, including your kids. The way you tell your child depends on their age, an older child will understand what it means when you tell them you are pregnant or that they are going to be a brother or sister soon. However, a toddler is a little bit harder to explain this too.

Think about your childs personality when it comes time to tell them. You know your child best. They may enjoy being sent little clues like you did with daddy, or they may just want you to tell them straight out. You could get lucky and have them walk in the room while you are announcing it. This happened to me when I was expecting child number four. I had just walked out of the bathroom waving the wand in the air to show my husband. I had no clue that my kids had walked into the room until I heard them screeching I was pregnant. Oops.

Their Reactions
Dont be shocked if at first your child acts distant, many children will respond to the news in their own way. One of your children may even start to pretend to be pregnant right along with you, mimicking everything you do. While another child may tell you they dont want you to bring home a new baby. These are all common reactions to the news, the way you handle it will determine the outcome.

If your child seems reluctant to want another child in the home you may want to find out why. The only way to find out whats bugging him/her is to ask. Maybe they are just scared that you are going to stop loving them, or that everyone will forget about him/her when the baby is born.

Showing them They are Important too
A good way to do this is to make sure they get something the moment the baby is born, some have had the doctors give the sibling their own baby doll when their sibling was born. Try reading childrens books with them to show them that itll be a good thing. Dad can always spend some one on one time with them.

Involving Your Child in the Pregnancy
This is their baby too, have your children accompany you to a few of the doctor visits. Let them hear the heartbeat of their little sister or brother. Watch their faces light up when they see the baby for the first time on the screen. There are many ways you can involve them, you can encourage them to help you decide on a name. Try letting them feel the baby kick for the first time by placing their hand on your swollen belly.

Its easy to prepare the siblings for your new arrival as long as you involve them in the pregnancy along the way. Theyll be happy to be part of it and feel more of a connection to the baby when he/she is born.

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Sometimes it can be very challenging to communicate anything with your child. Setting clear expectations regarding what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t imperative to successfully teaching your child right from wrong. If the parameters are muddled or the child learns that in one situation the rules hold true yet in another situation the same rule does not, it makes for confusion and frustration on both sides.

Sit down with your child well in advance and line out the expectations and consequences of misbehaving or a misdeed. Make it clear that in no uncertain terms is there any room for negotiation at the time of the infraction, and that should such a behavior occur you intend to be firm in your discipline. Rules regarding your child’s safety, health or well-being should have no room for negotiation when being set or enforced. Other rules can be openly and honestly discussed with your child and an agreed upon action should be forged that both parents and child can agree upon. If necessary, make a contract between parent and child. Lay it all out in black and white, in language your child can clearly understand. For younger children, you might want to develop a good behavior chart within the contract, and for each week that goes by without any infractions being noted, a favorite or special activity might be earned. The connection between good deeds and special time with mom and/or dad might be just the currency they understand.

But all children need to understand that disciplining them is your way of teaching them what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t. It may seem as though children fight rules and regulations, but they truly know that such parameters are meant for their well-being, health, safety, and enable them to grow into a mature person capable of making wise decisions.

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