As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to undo the wrongs that were done to you as a child if you had an angry and abusive parent or parents. It can be very curative and demonstrate you where your troubles lie are and inspire you to fix them. Perhaps your past is filled with unresolved hurt and anger. If so, take the necessary steps to heal yourself. If you don’t, you could unwillingly and unthinkingly harm your child. Studies have shown that children whose mothers often express anger are more likely to be difficult to discipline. Identify problems from your past and honestly look at current situations that are angering you. Maybe you aren’t fulfilled at work; perhaps your spouse and you are having relationship troubles, maybe you have other personal issues or unfulfilled goals that are bothering you. If all your child ever sees is your angry face and hears an angry voice, that’s what they’ll most likely grow into as well.

It’s important to ‘pick your battles’ when parenting. Accidents and nuisances don’t warrant the energy and agony it takes to get angry. But misbehaviors such as a child hurting themselves, others or property demand a firm, quick and appropriate response from you. You will probably have to continually remind yourself that the small stuff isn’t worth getting worked up over. And remind yourself also that you’re the one in control of your anger; don’t let your anger control you. Put yourself in time out, take a deep breath, walk away, do whatever you have to in order to get a grip on yourself before addressing the situation if you feel your anger coming on strong.

Preparing the breast pump
1. Read all the instructions in the kit
very carefully.
2. Every part of the breast pump will need
to be sterilized before you begin using it.
3. After use, all the parts of the pump will
need to be washed in warm, soapy water, then rinsed
with hot water and drained on a clean towel. The
plastic tubing doesn’t need to be cleaned unless
you get milk into it. If you do wash it, it should
be hung to allow time to dry and drain thoroughly.
4. If your doctor feels the need, the
entire kit can be sterilized every day.
5. When you first start with an electric
pump, the suction level should be on the lowest
possible setting.

Getting started
- Warm compresses, gentle massages of the
breast and gentle nipple stimulation will help to
stimulate a quick let down.
- You should always relax while doing
breast massages during pumping. Some mothers prefer
to close their eyes then think about nursing the
baby, imagining the baby in their arms. The more
relaxed a mother is, the better let down she’ll
have and the more milk will be dispensed.
- Your first attempts at pumping should be
considered practice sessions with learning to use
the breast pump as the goal, not how much milk is
actually dispensed.
- When you use a hand pump, quick, short
pumps at the start is stimulating and will imitate
more closely the way a baby breast feeds. Once
the let down occurs and milk starts to flow freely,
long, steadier strokes are more effective and
less tiring.
- When you learn to pump, you should
practice for 5 minutes on a side at least once or
twice a day. Always pick the least stressful part
of your day for pumping.

Relaxing and realizing that the pump is your
friend is the single most important thing that a
mother can do. There are several things that a
mother can do to help herself relax, such as
putting a picture of the baby on the pump, playing
cards or a game with friends, watching television,
read books, or talk on the phone. Simply watching
the collection bottle is not helpful and will
probably put more stress on you than you actually
need.

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PPPPP

It seems to be a natural tendency to react rather than to respond. We pass judgment based on our own feelings and experiences. However, responding means being receptive to our child’s feelings and emotions and allowing them to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of repercussion from us. By reacting, we send our child the message that their feelings and opinions are invalid. But by responding and asking questions about why the child feels that way, it opens a dialog that allows them to discuss their feelings further, and allows you a better understanding of where they’re coming from. Responding also gives you an opportunity to work out a solution or a plan of action with your child that perhaps they would not have come up with on their own. Your child will also appreciate the fact that maybe you do indeed understand how they feel.

It’s crucial in these situations to give your child your full and undivided attention. Put down your newspaper, stop doing dishes, or turn off the television so you can hear the full situation and make eye contact with your child. Keep calm, be inquisitive, and afterwards offer potential solutions to the problem.

Don’t discourage your child from feeling upset, angry, or frustrated. Our initial instinct may be to say or do something to steer our child away from it, but this can be a detrimental tactic. Again, listen to your child, ask questions to find out why they are feeling that way, and then offer potential solutions to alleviate the bad feeling.

Just as we do, our children have feelings and experience difficult situations. By actively listening and participating with our child as they talk about it, it demonstrates to them that we do care, we want to help and we have similar experiences of our own that they can draw from. Remember, respond – don’t react.