Women’s Health Blog

We watch our children grow right before our very eyes. It seems like yesterday they were a baby learning to crawl, walk, and feed themselves, and now they’re in school, involved in activities, making friends, and learning to be more and more independent. Parents before us have said that from the time they’re born, we are constantly learning to let go. As a result, our parenting strategies have to change. As our child grows, develops, learns, and matures, so does our parenting role.

As your child has grown, you undoubtedly have discovered they have their own unique personality and temperament. You’ve probably unconsciously redeveloped your parenting skills around the individual needs of your child. And no two children are exactly alike, and therefore, neither should your parenting style. Some children may need more guidance and feel more unsure of themselves, so we’ve become used to having to guide, lead, show and encourage that child consistently through their childhood while still trying to encourage independence and give praise in order to build their self esteem and confidence level. Yet another child may be very intrinsically motivated and very willful and not need a great deal of guidance or leadership from you. While you encourage their independence, it’s also important that you also encourage their ability to ask for help when needed and continue to praise good deeds, actions, and traits.

The most important tools we have in order to successfully adjust our parenting skills are our eyes and our ears. We have to see what’s going on with our child and we have to hear what they are telling us. It’s important that we encourage our child to be their own individual while still being available to them at whatever level or degree they need us to be. Sometimes it’s situation-specific as well. A child may not need us to be as directly involved with their schooling to ensure their overall academic success, but they may need us to be more involved in their social life as they may be feeling a bit shaky or scared when it comes to making new friends or meeting new people.

So the bottom line is this: as your child grows and changes, so should your parenting skills. Keep your eyes and ears open and communicate honestly and openly with your child, and you’ll both mature gracefully.

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The moment you find out your pregnant you want to tell everyone, including your kids. The way you tell your child depends on their age, an older child will understand what it means when you tell them you are pregnant or that they are going to be a brother or sister soon. However, a toddler is a little bit harder to explain this too.

Think about your childs personality when it comes time to tell them. You know your child best. They may enjoy being sent little clues like you did with daddy, or they may just want you to tell them straight out. You could get lucky and have them walk in the room while you are announcing it. This happened to me when I was expecting child number four. I had just walked out of the bathroom waving the wand in the air to show my husband. I had no clue that my kids had walked into the room until I heard them screeching I was pregnant. Oops.

Their Reactions
Dont be shocked if at first your child acts distant, many children will respond to the news in their own way. One of your children may even start to pretend to be pregnant right along with you, mimicking everything you do. While another child may tell you they dont want you to bring home a new baby. These are all common reactions to the news, the way you handle it will determine the outcome.

If your child seems reluctant to want another child in the home you may want to find out why. The only way to find out whats bugging him/her is to ask. Maybe they are just scared that you are going to stop loving them, or that everyone will forget about him/her when the baby is born.

Showing them They are Important too
A good way to do this is to make sure they get something the moment the baby is born, some have had the doctors give the sibling their own baby doll when their sibling was born. Try reading childrens books with them to show them that itll be a good thing. Dad can always spend some one on one time with them.

Involving Your Child in the Pregnancy
This is their baby too, have your children accompany you to a few of the doctor visits. Let them hear the heartbeat of their little sister or brother. Watch their faces light up when they see the baby for the first time on the screen. There are many ways you can involve them, you can encourage them to help you decide on a name. Try letting them feel the baby kick for the first time by placing their hand on your swollen belly.

Its easy to prepare the siblings for your new arrival as long as you involve them in the pregnancy along the way. Theyll be happy to be part of it and feel more of a connection to the baby when he/she is born.

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